


Junko's Game

by StudentOfEtherium



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, POV First Person, Spoilers, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StudentOfEtherium/pseuds/StudentOfEtherium
Summary: Junko's playing a game with Chiaki, but this time things play out differently.
Kudos: 6





	1. Execution

I was terrified. I was confused. I was more than a little distraught. More than anything, I was feeling betrayed. The door in front of me opened and I stumbled into a long hallway. It looked like a dungeon out of a video game. Under different circumstances, I might have appreciated it.

I scanned the hallway. The walls and floor were carved stone tile, or at least a convincing imitation of stone. Starting a few yards down the hall, I saw TV monitors seemingly placed at random. I turned around to face the door I entered from, but couldn't see any handle. I was trapped.

With no way to turn back, I slowly started walking down the hall. It was dark and only stray light on each side illuminated the corridor. Suddenly, the monitors turned on, showing the room better. I stopped to check the one closest to me. It showed an empty film set. Then, the Ultimate Gyaru appeared on the screen. I stumbled back in surprise. She said some words I found difficult to parse, as if to exposit to an audience the nature of my circumstances. I tried ignoring her and continued my slow pace through the hall. Out of nowhere, a spike shot out of the wall and stabbed my left leg. I could feel blood coming out of the wound. I screamed. I tried to continue forward despite this.

“Now then, he's staying on his toes in this deadly dungeon full of deadly traps.” The gyaru on screen kept narrating. I stumbled forward and attempted to ignore her. “That's our Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer. He's been dodging danger this whole time!” Her voice was dripping with malice and sarcasm. Despite myself, I idly thought about who her audience could possibly be for this narration, before dismissing such thoughts. No answer would bring me peace. “But things are just starting to get serious!” I didn't want to think about what that could possibly mean. “Now, Nanami, do your best to head to the exit.”

At those words, I started running. Perhaps trusting her encouragement was a bad idea, but I didn't have any other options. The wound on my leg stung and I could feel the blood trickling further. On my next step, I heard a click from the floor. Hidden spikes shot up and before I could dodge, I stepped on one. I screamed and stumbled backwards. I could feel the wound on my right foot, much larger than the one on my thigh. I stood up again and tried pushing myself further. I was limping on account of the new injury. I finally began to worry about my circumstances.

“I heard about you a while back…” The gyaru continued. “Your class was all off doing their own thing…” Once again, I tried my best to put her mockery out of mind and focus on my task. It's just a game, I told myself. I can beat any game, so I can make it through this. “But you brought them all together.” I couldn't help but respond to that. “I'm going to see them again.” The girl behind my suffering laughed.

I heard a sound behind me. “What?” I questioned, looking backwards. I saw a large object, a boulder. It was rolling towards me. Despite my limp, I hurried up to stay ahead of it.

“That's why I had my eye on you!” 

Nearly too quickly to respond, a barrage of shot put balls flew at me. I dodged most, but one hit me directly in my right eye. I felt more blood well up around it as skin burst. I found it difficult to keep the eye open. “I'm going…” I had to pause to catch my breath. “...to see them again.” I saw a number of flying saws heading in my direction. I dodged them, but one came close enough that I could feel my hair being cut as it passed.

The boulder behind me was getting close. I saw a small alcove to the side of the tunnel, so I ducked in and let it pass me by. “I won't give up.” I panted, my breathing labored. “I won't let you beat me.” Despite my pain, this was just another game. I would win and she would lose. “Me, my classmates, Ms. Yukizome…” I thought back to Ms. Yukizome. I couldn't know what to think of her anymore, but I wanted to think she was the same teacher I could trust and love. “We'll stop you.” I filled myself with determination.

The gyaru laughed loudly. “Exactly! That's the hope I wanted to crush.” I didn't respond, still catching by breath. “That's the hope you all believed in.” The way she talked of hope… It disgusted me. She said it with such scorn. “I mean, what better birth of despair is there than the death of hope?” Despair. I could feel it creeping up, but I wouldn't let it get to me. Despite my circumstances, I would remain hopeful. “Come on, you need to focus on getting away anyway.” I loathed to take her at her word, but what she said was true. This was her game and I would beat her at it. I stepped out of the alcove and continued further. “If you die, the footage is going to turn your friends to despair.” My eyes grew wide and I felt myself stop. “If you don't like it, then move those legs.” I did as she said.

I continued stumbling. My limp was getting worse as the blood loss in my foot made it feel more and more numb. Junko's words echoed in my head. Her talk of despair and hope proved inescapable. But I knew hope would win!

A blade came flying at my head. I ducked, but it caught my sweatshirt and dragged me back until it was stopped by a wall. I struggled against it as I was held up by my clothes. “I-I won't give up!” I managed to tear the hood off my sweatshirt and I dropped to the floor. I picked up my pace.

“Time for a special break for our hard-working Nanami!” I hesitated. “Maybe friendship can make miracles happen.” I was terrified of what she would say next. This was her game and she made the rules, but I didn't doubt she would break and bend them on a whim. “I'll wait ten seconds.” Hearing that, I picked up my pace. If she was giving me a free power-up, I would accept it. “Ten.” She started counting down. “Nine.” I tried my best to push forward. “Eight.” Her countdown kept going at an irregular pace. “Seven.” I felt a sharp pain in my left leg. I looked down to see a thin spear passing through, slightly above the first wound. “Oh, I forgot.” Through bloodied vision, I turned to the nearest monitor. “I have the most despairingly short attention span.” My one working eye grew wide. Despair. The word rang through my head once again. “And besides… you should know there's gonna be no miracles.” I shuddered and turned away from the monitor. I tried walking as fast as I could, but at this point, walking at all was beginning to become a struggle. “Your classmates are not coming to save you.” She cackled. “That's right, no miracles for you.”

“Chiaki Nanami.”

“Loved by your friends, who rely on you…” I had given up on ignoring her words. It would be an impossible task. They were everywhere. They surrounded me on all sides as the monitors spoke in unison. “Your death will be what dyes them all in despair!” My breath caught, but I continued further. I wouldn't die. “I won't give up.” I tripped and caught myself. “I won't… We won't…” 

I stumbled and tripped again. I steadied myself on a nearby monitor, leaving a trail of blood as I continued, using the wall to steady myself. “We won't lose to you!” I didn't know how much I knew to trust my own words anymore. “They will… come for me…!” Whether my words existed out of a genuine belief they were right or an understanding that they were wrong, for the sake of inspiring myself, I wasn't sure, but I didn't linger on the difference. “It won't end like this!” That much I could be certain of.

My vision grew blurrier as blood covered my eyes and made my vision nearly indistinct, but at the end of the corridor, I finally saw it. The exit, labeled in large text ‘GOAL’. I approached it and opened the door. As blinding light spilled through, I saw my classmates standing there. I had made it. “Everyone…” I even saw Ms. Yukizome there. She hadn't betrayed me. The trust I had placed in her had never deserved to falter. She spoke to me. “Welcome back, Nanami…”

Suddenly, the room was empty. Tears filled my eyes at last as the true nature of my situation set in. I would die, alone, and I would leave them. Junko would warp them as she wished and there was nothing anyone could do to fight back. There was nothing I could do to fight back. I collapsed to my knees. I felt the tears on my face mix with blood as I struggled to keep away the despair I felt creeping in.

Despair. The antithesis of hope. The feeling of desperation and loss. The feeling of knowing you have no hope for the future.

I knew I had no hope for the future. 

I had played her game and I had lost. I had made it all the way to the end. I wasn't sure if I would live or die. I don't know if I cared. I tried to stand myself up, but my legs gave out. I couldn't feel anything in my left leg, the one pierced twice. Around me, I saw blood spreading across the floor. I had no hope I would live. I despaired that I might not die.

A door on the other side of the room opened. I saw the silhouette of Junko highlighted against blinding white light. I used one arm to prop myself and another to shield my remaining working eye from the light. I heard her laugh as my consciousness faded. My last thoughts were of hope that I wouldn't wake up again.


	2. Recovery

My first feeling upon waking up was despair. Waking up was itself despairing. My second feeling upon waking up was pain. It seared my whole body. I screamed. I don't know how long I screamed for before Mikan came in. It felt like hours, but it could just as easily have been seconds. She muttered some medical terminology I couldn't process and grabbed a needle. She pressed it into my arm. “That should make things better.” I blinked several times. As I did, I realized my right eye wasn't working. As if noticing my confusion, Mikan rattled off an explanation. The painkiller hadn't set it yet, so I found it difficult to understand, but I understood enough to know it didn't work any more. With my remaining functional eye, I looked around the room we were in. In my hazy headspace, it took me time to recognize it, but it soon became clear I had been taken to the school nurse's office.

As the painkiller finally kicked in, Mikan opened the door and ushered Junko in. I tracked her as she walked across the room and sat down at the other end of the bed. On my left foot, specifically, not that I felt it. She started lecturing me about despair and hope. How I had finally given up and seen her side. How I'd lost her game. If I had the strength, I'd tell her to shut up. Everything she's saying is pointless because I already knew it. I had given up. I had let despair win. I had realized how fucking foolish I had been in thinking I ever had a chance. From the second Chisa Yukizome had betrayed me, I was hopeless. If only I had realized it sooner.

The Ultimate Despair finished her lecture and stood up. She said a few more words and told me she would be back later. Mikan led her out and to replace her came Ms. Yukizome. I glared at her. She smiled. She apologized profusely and tried to justify her actions. “It was for your own good.” In that moment, between dueling pain and painkillers, I couldn't do more than suffer through my pain, let alone talk, but if I could, I would have told her exactly what I thought of her excuses. Sensing my irritation, Mikan rushed her out sooner than Junko had been in the room.

I didn't know which of them I hated more. Yes, Junko was at fault. She was the reason I had nearly died and the reason now my body was a broken mess. She was the one who did this to me. But Junko never betrayed my trust. She never pretended to care about me or push me. In that moment, I could feel nothing more than scorn and ire for the teacher who had inspired so much hope in me, only to shatter that hope without a second’s hesitation.

I spent the rest of my time in that nurse's office suffering. I was heavily medicated and even in my waking minutes, focus proved difficult. I felt pain. Inescapable pain. Despairful pain. I didn't savor it or delight in it. I just wanted it to be over. More than a few times, I wished for death. My only relief from pain was that I couldn't feel anything in my left leg whatsoever. Small graces. At some point while I was unconscious, early on, Mikan bandaged my damaged eye. I likely wouldn't see through it again as long as I lived.

Nobody else visited me. For the rest of my stay in the nurse's office, Junko was my only visitor. Mikan was with me in every one of my rare waking moments. I had to hear the gyaru lecture me on hope and despair many times. As soon as I could, I told her I didn't need to hear that talk anymore. I told her I understood. I told her I saw it her way. She didn't stop.

I don't know how long I had been trapped there before I was finally allowed to leave. The frequent bouts of unconsciousness made judging the passage of time impossible. When I was finally taken, Mikan wheeled me out. I didn't return to class. Instead, I was taken immediately back to my apartment. I had to be carried up the stairs. Mikan stayed with me, as I lived alone and in my present state, I wouldn't be able to get by. That itself was despairing. I was set down in my bed and left alone. Mikan, ever the housewife, went about cleaning the mess my old NEET lifestyle had accrued. We agreed she would sleep on a spare futon I had, while I stayed in bed to heal. I just wanted her gone. While her proficiency at medical care was a departure from her regular clumsiness, her housework wasn't free of any such fate. But she was who I was stuck with.

My one-room apartment soon turned into a makeshift hospital room. It wasn't a change that happened overnight, but as classmates brought by supplies, the transformation was inevitable. It was a despairful sight that served as a constant reminder of the broken state my body was in. 

Occasionally Teruteru came by to prepare meals for Mikan and I. Her skills are as a nurse, not a cook. A few other classmates visited. Kazuichi had made me some medical aides, most importantly a better wheelchair than the cheap thing that had been taken from the Hope's Peak nurse's office. Akane helped Mikan plan a physical therapy routine for me. They agreed that even despite my condition, it was unacceptable to just let me lay in bed and atrophy. The exercises proved to be as much hell as any part of my new life. It was a constant reminder of what Junko had done to me. This was all her doing.

Junko visited a number of times. Each time, it was the same as her visits in the nurse's office. Gushing about despair while disparaging hope. I had greater autonomy now, so I found it easier to tell her off. To tell her I didn't need to hear it. To tell her I had already accepted it. Every time I told her, she was ecstatic. She saw my hope was crushed. She saw it as her duty to ensure I would never feel hope again.

Being trapped in my apartment with no one but the clumsy nurse and the rare visitor for company weren't ideal conditions for my mental health. Even having my games around to entertain myself only did so much. Despair had sapped me of my want and desire to live and to see anything good come of my life. No matter what I did, I would suffer. I was sure that was all according to Junko's plan.

I heard of The Tragedy from Junko herself. Mikan was sad she missed it. She was absolutely in despair over it. I was indifferent. I was indifferent to most things at that point. Nonetheless, Junko took it as an excuse to drag me out of my apartment. Her sister carried me down and for the first time in months, I was outside. I was taken to the school and reintroduced to my classmates. They were so happy to see me again. I wasn't. As soon as Junko let me, I left.

From that point, my life slowed to a crawl. Junko rarely had use for me as a member of the Ultimate Despair, so I resumed my NEET life. Once I was at a point where 24 hour care wasn't needed, Mikan moved out. She still visited occasionally, because there was still a lot she needed to do for me, but I was still happy to see her go. Unfortunately, loneliness is its own form of despair and in my isolation it was especially harsh.

At least once a week, I would wake from my sleep screaming. I had become apathetic to many things, but I never recovered from the breaking of my body, physically nor mentally. The despair never left me. It corrupted me, damaged me, ruined me. All according to Junko's plan. I never knew her plan for me. Maybe she regarded me as a trophy rather than a real member of the Ultimate Despair. I certainly never spent much time with the rest of them, even once I was well enough to leave my apartment. My experiences and theirs had alienated us. They served a purpose. I didn't. I was living proof that her despair was inescapable. She had broken me beyond repair. I had played her game and I lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was A Lot. when i started writing this, i didn't have a clear idea of where it would go, but Chiaki as a despair is an idea ive had for a while. telling how he got that way is a good segue into other stories in this AU, so that might happen in time
> 
> the transmasc headcanon doesn't really have an excuse, but similarly it's an idea ive had for a while. this is in the same continuity as both my other DR3 fics and my IF fics, but i haven't gotten to the point in the Chiaki DR3 fics to really get to trans stuff and i haven't found ways to connect my IF material to the rest of it but uhhh fuck headcanons AU extended universe (it's a mess)


End file.
